About Me
Nicolette Stenger, LMFT
she/they pronouns
I’m Nicolette Stenger, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who helps adults and couples navigate relational distress, emotional disconnection, and the impact of stress and trauma on relationships.
Many of the people I work with feel stuck in patterns that repeat across different relationships, moments of conflict, distance, or shutdown that can feel hard to understand or change. My work focuses on slowing those patterns down so we can understand what’s happening underneath them, and begin creating new ways of connecting that feel more secure and intentional.
My Approach
My approach is grounded in attachment and systems theory, which means I pay close attention to the emotional patterns between people: how we seek closeness, how we protect ourselves when things feel unsafe, and how those patterns shape our relationships over time.
Therapy with me is collaborative and steady. Sometimes we focus on understanding what’s happening in the moment between you and others. Other times we look at longer-standing patterns shaped by past experiences, stress, or trauma. Often, it’s a combination of both.
I integrate approaches including Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), depending on what best supports the work.
Who I Work With
I primarily work with adults and couples who are experiencing:
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ongoing conflict or emotional distance in relationships
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difficulty communicating needs or repairing after conflict
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anxiety, stress, or burnout that impacts connection with others
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patterns that feel repetitive or hard to change
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the lingering impact of trauma, stress, or systemic pressures on relationships
I also work with individuals who want to better understand their relational patterns and build more secure ways of connecting with themselves and others.
Background
I have over 13 years of clinical experience and have worked in community mental health and inpatient addiction treatment settings. This background has shaped my ability to work with complex emotional experiences while staying focused on relationship patterns, strengths, and practical change.
I’m a sex-positive therapist and affirming of LGBTQ+, kink, and polyamorous relationships. I approach therapy with cultural humility and a respect for the full complexity of people’s identities and lived experiences.
My Style as a Therapist
Clients often describe me as steady, engaged, and collaborative. I don’t take an overly directive or distant approach. Instead, I aim to be present with what’s happening in the room and help make sense of patterns as they unfold.
Some sessions feel reflective and insight-oriented. Others are more focused on communication, skills, or working through moments of rupture and repair. I adjust based on what feels most helpful in the process.
A Final Note
Reaching out for therapy is often a meaningful and vulnerable step. My goal is to make that process feel as grounded and straightforward as possible, and to create a space where you can begin to understand your patterns and move toward the kind of connection you want in your life.
If you’re interested in working together, you’re welcome to reach out to schedule a brief consultation.
Professional Memberships
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